Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Hey all,

This post is particularly difficult for me.  I am going to be very vulnerable and honest with everyone.  With that being said, I am sharing this on Blogger, but not posting to Facebook   I don't mind if some friends see it, but I don't want it blasted to the nations, if you know what I mean. I have not even told all of my family, but I need a way to vent and seek support, so here goes...

Jon and I have been trying to get pregnant since April.  It has been over eight months of trying.  We tried over the summer with no results.  I did not "track" anything because I am already very irregular.

I had gone to a gyno in February for the irregularity (that I have had since I was young) and was told I was just young and my blood tests were normal.

So in September, after trying all summer, I went to a new gyno in our new town.  She scheduled an ultrasound just to make sure everything was clear and there was nothing wrong.  A week later the doctor called and said I have PCOS.

Having PCOS basically means I rarely, if ever, ovulate.

This was SO hard to hear.  I have dreamed of being a mother since I can remember and to find out it will be pretty difficult, and even possibly impossible, was an enormous disappointment.

So moving forward from that, I was prescribed the fertility med, Clomid.  Clomid, for those of you that don't know, is prescribed to get you to ovulate.  My first round in October was at 50mg.

I did the round, had crazy mood swings (ask Jon!), and waited to find out if it worked.  I was SO sure I ovulated.  It'd crazy what your mind can make you believe.  I went in for my bloodwork and was told I did not ovulate.

Another disappointment.

So here I am, about to start round two tomorrow.  They upped the dose to 100mg, and I am praying it works this round.  I'm not necessarily praying to get pregnant this round, but that I actually ovulate.

So with all that out, I have a few prayer requests for this difficult time in my life.

I'd love prayer...

  • That I will ALWAYS remember God is in control and nothing I can do will change His perfect plan
  • That I will be happy for those around me that are experiencing the blessing of pregnancy and childbirth
  • That I will ovulate this round, Lord willing
I would LOVE support from other women who have had/have fertility problems.  It is the hardest thing feeling like you are not able to do what you, as a woman, were designed to do and having support makes it so much better.  

Love to all!


  1. oh precious, i am crying reading this! the sweet girl who was like a mom to her siblings and neighbor's kiddos since she was tiny...oh honey, my heart is so sad for you. yes, i will pray for you!!!! it took us awhile as well, and EVERY month was hard...every time i realized "no, not pregnant AGAIN" i would cry. when friends announced their pregnancies, i would try to smile, but i would usually have to run out of the room so i could sob in peace.
    i promise i will pray for you faithfully. i will pray, and i pray as i type, that God would allow you to conceive a healthy baby, that you would be assured that He is in control and that He really does have a perfect plan, and that you would feel genuine joy for others who are pregnant. I am here for you any time...hugs.

  2. Kristina, your support and encouragement mean a lot to me. I know things have not been a walk in the park for you all, but you have such an amazing family. Praying it works out that way for us too!

  3. Rebecca (Legge) StevensonNovember 29, 2012 at 12:24 PM

    Dani - I'm so sad for you...I know you are so great with kids & will be a fabulous mother one day. The Lord is definitely at work through you & this situation. I'm looking forward to seeing what He does in the future. I will pray very much for you and Jon. It took us 10 months to have get pregnant with Liam. What a confusing & heartbreaking time.

    Have you ever read Taking Charge of Your Fertility? You said you don't really chart because of your irregularity. This is a fantastic book that helps you figure out your cycle even when you are irregular. I had to read it a good 3-4 times before I figured out the whole thing (and it's a really big book!). It can't help with ovulation, but I do know that it can help you see when you're fertile. I've also heard that PCOS might mean that you could drop multiple eggs in a later month? Have you heard something similar? If you can afford it, buy the book on Amazon. It may or may not help, but it will at least give you knowledge and help you even ask questions.

    I will pray for you - I know we aren't super close, but you've always been special in my heart.