Thursday, February 25, 2016

Still Here!


It's been a while since I've updated and I have a minute while Addie takes a VERY late nap.  At first, when I thought I'd update, I didn't feel like I had much to update on.  Life has been relatively the same for the past few months.  We got through the holidays, went on a few short weekend trips, and got into our new routine for the year.  Then as I started thinking about it more, I realized I really do have a lot to share about our journey right now.

No, we have not been matched, but that's perfectly fine.

Other things have been happening.  Our profile was shown once in both December and January.  I have no details on either of those except that they did not call us for a match meeting or further information. I'm not sad about that, it just is the way it goes.

While we have been waiting, we've been doing reading and researching.  I guess in December the weight of all of this hit be like a ton of bricks.  It's heavy stuff.

You see, I have the weight of knowing a mother is going to carry her child to term, then hand it over to, basically, complete strangers.  While we hope to have an open relationship with the child's first family, it is still a deep wound left in her heart.  We researched a few agencies before settling on ours.  The biggest reason we went with ours is because of both the transparency of their organization and their desire to eliminate conflicts of interest when it comes to placement.  They counsel the expectant mothers, but do not pressure them (something I was really cognizant of).  Placements fall through, and that is perfectly okay.  The baby we are matched with is not born ours.  The baby's first mother has every right to keep her baby and I respect that right fully.  I think recognizing that fact is/will be helpful as we are matched with a baby.  But it's still all a very heavy feeling.

But along with all the heavy feelings comes joy for the baby we will, Lord willing, bring home one day.  We have been preparing in little stages.  Jon and I listened to a podcast that was recommended by our adoption counselor.  We bought Addie a couple of big sister books that skip the "mommy is pregnant" parts.  We bought a crib to sidecar to our bed.  I borrowed a book from the library (also recommended to read by our adoption counselor.  Cloth diapers are coming in a few at a time as we get ready for round 2!

It is all happening really fast, even with the long wait.  The end of this month marks 8 months of official waiting and a year since we began this process.  We've met people along the way that are in the same stage as us and others who have brought baby home already, all of whom have been great support systems in this very difficult and emotional process.

Please pray for us (and all those involved) as we get closer to a match.

Two really great books that even show breastfeeding and babywearing!

Getting the squish wraps all ready!

They are so tiny and ready for a tiny baby bum!

"Strength-based, culture-sensitizing parenting strategies for inter-country and domestic adoptive families that don't "match".  We don't know whether we will have a transracial adoption, but it's important to educate ourselves on it in case we do.  Regardless, there's a lot of good info in.

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